Email from the Queen - an important announcement regarding the USA
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
In light of your immediate failure to manage yourselves financially and in recent years also your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore remain unable to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (Look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix