Now we know what Sylvan's been up to

[Top Speed]

'666' road sign thefts bedeviling roadways

Sep 29, 8:21 PM (ET)

By WAYNE PARRY
 
BARNEGAT, N.J. (AP) - Is the Garden State Parkway the highway to hell? Or is the New Jersey Turnpike the road to damnation? Someone keeps stealing the metal signs at mile marker 66.6 along the heavily traveled toll roads, and the New Jersey Turnpike Authority is having a devil of a time keeping up with the thefts.

It's been happening all over the country, particularly on roads with names like Route 666. Officials aren't sure if the thefts are being committed by religious zealots upset about the number's association in the Bible with the devil, by Satanic scavenger hunters, or by college students who think a '666' sign would look cool in their dorm room.

Joe Orlando, a spokesman for the Authority, said officials have no idea who is taking the signs.

"Maybe it's just some kids with a Devil-may-care attitude," Orlando said.

The latest theft involved someone swiping the 66.6 mile marker sign on the Parkway's northbound lanes. It's in a sparsely populated section of the Pinelands far from any entrances or exits. In short, you'd have to know the sign was there and go looking for it.

But look for it - and take it - they do. Within the past two years, 66.6 mile marker signs have been stolen at least four or five times from the Turnpike and Parkway, he said.

"Given the symbolism of the number and the fact that it is obviously done in the middle of night, and in the middle of nowhere, I can safely say that I'm not eager to meet the rocket scientists doing it," Orlando added.

In the Biblical Book of Revelations, verse 13:18 reads, "This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666."

The Parkway sign, when it's not stolen, is located in Barnegat; the Turnpike sign in East Windsor.

It costs as much as $50 to replace the signs, which doesn't sound like much, until you keep repeating it over, and over again.

A few years ago, highway officials in Morris County couldn't keep signs for Route 666 on the poles; as quickly as crews put them up, someone would take them down and steal them, often within a day or two.

Solution: They changed the name of the road to Route 665. A similar tactic might be in store for the Parkway and Turnpike mile markers, with replacement signs reading 66.61, which kind of wrecks the Satanic buzz.

In 2003, Utah, New Mexico and Colorado renamed the 194-mile-long Route 666 as Route 491 after a rash of sign thefts. Some wound up on eBay.

Pennsylvania has a Route 666, but a state transportation spokesman said few signs, if any, have been stolen.

In the meantime, New Jersey transportation officials keep replacing the mile marker signs. The Parkway thefts are happening in the same general area in which a mysterious decorator made nationwide headlines last winter by covertly festooning a huge pine tree along the side of the road with Christmas decorations.

"You almost want to put a camera out there, just to see who has this much free time," Orlando said.

[Zap]

He's too much of a wussie. He doesn't have the balls. He's not man enough. You get my drift.

[Top Speed]

Yeah, I figured as much...

[Zap]

This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666."

If it calls for wisdom I'm out.

Maybe StrawWood can calculate the number, which is 666, which is already calculated, apparently. :confused;

[87natty]

Sylvan is far too American to be out stealing signs, as it would mean higher taxes for him. I on the other hand intend on making trips SPECIFICALLY to steal signs. How about the town of 'Fuck, Germany?' Or one this Sylvan character told me about, 'Bucket of Blood St., Arizona?'

My brother-in-law had a highway sign that read 'Devil's Gorge' and in an attempt to top him, once went out on the interstate to 'rescue' one of those signs of the Mexican family holding hands crossing the road. Yes, we DO have these in California, and seeing as I live about 3 exits form the border, they're as common as stop signs.

Anyway, we pulled up in a truck on a lonely stretch of 2 lane (with a Sawzall, mind you) and found out REAL quick that the damn sign was bigger than the bed of the truck.

Needless to say, we left in awe, and empty handed.



^ Not my picture.

[Top Speed]

^^^ That sign is great!  lol

[Steve Wood]

This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666."

If it calls for wisdom I'm out.

Maybe StrawWood can calculate the number, which is 666, which is already calculated, apparently. :confused;

If Mothnut keeps up the drivel, I am going to have to challenge him to another match race.

My '74 Vega Stationwagon with an automatic and four square tires (unless the cows have decided to eat them) versus any block ridin' p.o.s. he can muster forth from his "car garden".  

(yah know where the rednecks in West Viagra come from?  They come from downhill of Zap's shack.  All that rust from his "car garden" washes down and turns the watertable red thus creating red necks when they take their biennial wipe downs.)

Anyway, this race will be from the top of the Grand Canyon to the floor.  Being the sport that I am, I am giving him the move while I go drink 666 bottles of Coors Lite in celebration of his demise (win)  and the resulting increase in the collective IQ for mankind of at least a zillion points.  Or, I could just drink one real beer like a Bohemia and be home before he kicks up his last dust cloud. :supz:

[87natty]

Yeah... but are going to steal a Grand Canyon sign?

[Steve Wood]

Yeah... but are going to steal a Grand Canyon sign?

there will be a new GC sign...one with a picture of a troll going over the edge with a red slash drawn across the circle imposed over the picture.

I will franchise the things and rent them out for homeowners beset by trolls! :supz:

[DCEPTCN]

Where I live many people get to name their own dirt roads, I live on a funny-named road myself.

I was pretty irked when they renamed the 666 here in NM. The professed 'reasoning' was because there are so many fatal accidents out there. The accidents have remained as notorious despite the newer, more psycho-friendly number. I could care less what they call it, but I hate living in a society where the delusional can make a squeaky wheel of themselves and we must all make way for their superstitions. If I remember correctly, the road was the sixth US highway to branch off of the famed 66...or something like that. The real reason for the accidents is that there are a boatload of raging alcoholics who live on reservations out there who have nothing to do but get wasted and go for a drive on a road upon which the passing often becomes a left turn lane. Stupid religious monkeys. I was myself nearly involved in a potentially fatal accident on that road once due to unemployed fans of the firewater.


If the jesus freaks really want something to bitch about they should demand all mile marker '9' signs removed. Anton LaVey proclaimed it to be the true number of Satan because it 'always returns to itself'.

9x2=18, 1+8=9
9x3=27, 2+7=9
9x2164=19,476, 1+9+4+7+6=27, 2+7=9...and so forth.

Chew on that, waferweenies.

[Recklessrob]

I do think there is enough evidence to bring a case against Sylvan.

1) His birthday was celebrated on 6/6/06

2) He mysteriously disappears in his truck on the open road
    for days at a time. (A 53' box is capable of holding  numerous signs)

3) He openly detests Christians.

4) He has owned at least 3, 6 cylinder Buicks. (do you see a pattern
    here ?) :psix;  :psix;  :psix;

5) He has done the unspeakable with mice in what could be interpretted as
    a sort of occult ritual.

6) He has been spotted praying to a false god (usually a porcelin bowl)

....sorry Buddy, but an indictment may be on the way.

[DCEPTCN]

4) He has owned at least 3, 6 cylinder Buicks. (do you see a pattern
 

[Steve Wood]

4) He has owned at least 3, 6 cylinder Buicks. (do you see a pattern
 

[DCEPTCN]

You keep watching those Bill and Ted movies and you will do more than soil yourself.

Still stubbornly opposed to the moving pictures, I see.

[87natty]

I do think there is enough evidence to bring a case against Sylvan.

5) He has done the unspeakable with mice in what could be interpretted as
    a sort of occult ritual.

I'll tell you one thing, that wasn't whiskey in the bottle...