IHADAV8.com - Turbo Buick Tech, and Nonsense
General => IHADAV8 Playground => Topic started by: Recklessrob on December 17 2006, 05:12:03 PM
-
I got this in an e-mail and came up with a demented idea.
Post your questions for Santa, and anyone who wants can
post Santa's reply. :evil;
Here's the e-mail for example:
Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Friend, Billy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How
about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your
older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
Santa
*****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let
me send you some Legos instead.
Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay. I'll set you
up with a Barbie.
Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of
Scotch.
Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
toys?
Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas where I spend
most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself
silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at
the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake,
like in the song?
Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
****************************************************
Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE
could I have one?
Love, Timmy
Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
****************************************************
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Dear Mark,
First stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent
apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman
does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams,
Santa
-
That is the one I sent ya right? I thought it was funny as hell.
-
Those are pretty good!! lol
-
Funny. lol
-
I will start then
Dear Santa, I want a new Turbo for Christmas.( and i have been to the north pole so if i dont get one im killin the deer) Thanks Harry.
-
I will start then
Dear Santa, I want a new Turbo for Christmas.( and i have been to the north pole so if i dont get one im killin the deer) Thanks Harry.
I have to learn not to drink something and read this board :rofl; , I just spit Diet Coke all over my desk..... LMAO .
-
Dear Harry,
You made the same threat last year and you followed through. You dont have to fuck the deer to death to get my attention. No turbo for you!
-
LMAO
-
LMAO
-
Dear Santa, I want a new Turbo for Christmas.( and i have been to the north pole so if i dont get one im killin the deer) Thanks Harry.
Dear Harry,
I'm well aware of how you deviously plagarized the good name of "Dragonationai".
And you should be forewarned, that since you were last here we've gone high tech
with electronic counter measures and infared technology. In otherwords, you'll
be polar bear food before you can even get any where near my reindeer. A little
tool like you isn't even worthy of a Buick. You should drive a Honda. For Christmas
you're gettin' a subscription to "Import Tuner".
Santa.
-
ROFLMAO!
-
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! There I go again....
-
Dear Santa,
Since you haven't gotten me the georgous blonde nymphomaniac who
owns a liquor store (Thats well stocked with Jager) that I've been asking for
the last few years now. I've simplified my request so that it will allow for
redheads and brunettes as well. I would also like a set of "bling bling" headers
like Roberts, and a front mount intercooler.I promise to leave you some
beer and pretzels this year.
Your Friend,
Rob
-
Dear Santa,
Morgane Dubled's supple ass and breasts may be injured if you try to stick her in my chimney. So instead, please leave her on the porch in a basket full of cigarettes and ring the doorbell.
Thanks for the mammories,
Brian
-
Dear RR,
Every year I get you a Blond that owns a liquor store but she never seems to make it to your house. We always party the night befor and I can never get her out of bed the next day.
WTF!?! You got a dual cock? Headers? You better give me more than beer and pretzles!
-
Dear Santa,
Morgane Dubled's supple ass and breasts may be injured if you try to stick her in my chimney. So instead, please leave her on the porch in a basket full of cigarettes and ring the doorbell.
Thanks for the mammories,
Brian
Dear Brian, I've been trying to stick Morgane for years, but she
doesn't respond to Ruphenol and I haven't devised a way to get her into my sleigh.
Maybe you know some of her interests so we can bait a trap ? So until that can be
rectified, you'll have to settle for a Kuba Kuba, and this chick I found wandering
around in Biloxi Mississippi that answers to the name "Bloody Mary".
Sincerely the Coolest dude in North America,
Santa
-
LMAO......that s funny....keep em coming...I need humor in my life this week..
-
RR is a good at playing Santa!! lol
-
OK, we need some more. Post up bitchez ! I'll be checking back here later.
-
Dear Santa,
I want an autograph picture of Paul Stanley, or if you can deliver Paul Stanley in person that is fine with me....or I will even take Steve Perry from Journey (another hottie, a hottie in my book since I was a kid).
Ps. Please help me in proving to my Husband and Friends that he is NOT gay. (Pauly)
Thank you
Donna
(be nice RR, I am very Bitchy today.) :evil; (LOL)
-
(be nice RR, I am very Bitchy today.)
-
Dear Santa,
I want an autograph picture of Paul Stanley, or if you can deliver Paul Stanley in person that is fine with me....or I will even take
-
ahhhhhh hahahahahahaha hahha!!!!!
-
lol!!!!!!!
-
Dear Santa (again),
If I was Robert, I would've tagged Bloody Mary. But that's just me, because I'm a sport like that. Thus, when received, can I trade her in the day after Christmas for a another model? Or at least cash value? That said, can I get Morgane's cash value? BTW, I loving the Kuba Kuba's, can you pour me out a shot from your flask on the Eve to go with the stogies?
Have a Lush X-Mas,
Lynch
-
Dear Santa,
I want an autograph picture of Paul Stanley, or if you can deliver Paul Stanley in person that is fine with me....or I will even take
-
Santa,
Steve Perry did do a song called "Donna" on his 1995 album.
-
Dear Santa (again),
If I was Robert, I would've tagged Bloody Mary. But that's just me, because I'm a sport like that. Thus, when received, can I trade her in the day after Christmas for a another model? Or at least cash value? That said, can I get Morgane's cash value? BTW, I loving the Kuba Kuba's, can you pour me out a shot from your flask on the Eve to go with the stogies?
Have a Lush X-Mas,
Lynch
Dear Brian,
Have you come up with any ideas for a Morgane trap yet ? :tonqe: You may
trade "Bloody Mary" with anyone you wish, if you can find someone interested in her.
I don't know if she has any actual cash value ? As for Morgane's cash value: I
couldn't buy her, therefore she's priceless. After installing a kegerator in the sleigh,
I'll probably leave the flask home. Besides I usually end up losing it by the end of the night anyways. Maybe I'll drag your drunk ass outta bed and we'll tip a bottle of Jager this year.
Cheers,
Santa
-
Anyone else ?
-
Dear Santa,
Which do you prefer? A REALLY good lie about how good I've been. Or a straight up letter of all the shit I got away with this year?
Pleading the Fifth,
El Lyncho
-
Santa,
Steve Perry did do a song called "Donna" on his 1995 album.
-
Dear Santa,
Which do you prefer? A REALLY good lie about how good I've been. Or a straight up letter of all the shit I got away with this year?
Pleading the Fifth,
El Lyncho
Dear Lyncho,
First off, lying to me is a waste of my time. As I told Harry earlier, we've
made a number of high tech upgrades. Add satalite and electronic surveilance
to that list. Santa knows whats going down. In fact, I have enough dirt on you
to put your ass away for years. I suggest that you leave a plate of homemade
beef tacos, a bottle of Jager, and keep your letters interesting.
Drinking the Fifth,
Santa.
-
Dear Santa, I know that the good name of DragonationaI was desrespected but he had it coming. And if you remember i did call out Jay once or twice so i think that is at least good for some chrome. As far as the deer go i never said I would shot them personnaly you did remember that i am in the Air Force and i have access to the MOAB. Here is waiting on your letter and if its Jeager that you want i will put it next to the Hooker i got you for Christmas. Tell the miss's shes your new maid when you get back to the Pole. Thanks Harry :rock:
-
Dear Santa, I know that the good name of DragonationaI was desrespected but he had it coming.
-
lol
-
Thanks Santa!
-
Thanks Santa!
You're welcome Harry. See ya next year.
I'm off to Aruba for now....
-
Fuck you Santa! You never stopped at my house! Now your off to Aruba!?!??!?!? Eat shit and die!
-
Fuck you Santa! You never stopped at my house! Now your off to Aruba!?!??!?!? Eat shit and die!
Listen here Homeslice, If ya didn't keep stealin' my Ho's (BTW, only Santa can get away with saying that in public...), I wouldn't be goin' all the way to Aruba fo bitchez. You best stop yo low down ho stealin' ways, or your gettin' a
chastity belt next year. Consider yo'self lucky I didn't drop in to yo' crib and pimp
slap yo' bitch stealin' ass !
Santa G has spoken.
:smt071
-
Fuck'n A, ok man, sorry!
-
Here it is ! Post up Bitchez ! :rofl;
-
Ok, I will start.....
Dear Santa,
I would like to make a request, since I drive my husband insane when it comes to cars, I would like for one thing for you to bring me. I would like a Ford "Excursion" again. I really miss my old one. I am sorry that I have traded it into the Ford dealership 2 years ago. I knew it was a mistake, I would really like another one. Please help me Santa. By the way, I will leave the Christmas "Slushies" for you and the boys on the fireplace ready to go, and when you come down the fireplace and my Great Dane and Bassett greet you, just hand them a beer and they will leave you alone. Thank you Santa..
Donna :D
-
Dear Santa
-
Dear Santa,
Where's that damn French girl I've been asking for? I've been blueballin' Christmas for 3 on forever years! Next year, I'm stabbing whatever ass comes my way, yours or not.
- 87natty
-
Ok, I will start.....
Dear Santa,
I would like to make a request, since I drive my husband insane when it comes to cars,
-
Dear Santa
-
Dear Santa,
Where's that damn French girl I've been asking for? I've been blueballin' Christmas for 3 on forever years! Next year, I'm stabbing whatever ass comes my way, yours or not.
- 87natty
Dear Brian,
for your information, there are no French girls at the north pole. If there were, I'd have them dancing on it. Instead, I'm sending you a native Eskimo woman that will teach you how to ice fish and care for sled dogs. (A piece of advice: Don't try stabbing her, 'cause she'll whoop your little ass.)
Also, Stop calling yourself 87natty, your name is Brian. No wonder why Robert keeps making fun of you...
Santa
-
Ok, I will start.....
Dear Santa,
I would like to make a request, since I drive my husband insane when it comes to cars,
-
Dear Santa
-
Dear Santa, can you eradicate all the rednecks from our board?
-
Dear Santa, can you eradicate all the rednecks from our board?
Including DCEPTCN... :rofl;
-
I'm a dirtbag, you!
-
Dear Santa, can you eradicate all the rednecks from our board?
Dear Sylvan, If I were to do that, this board would be empty !
If you have to drive around to find the internet, you might be a redneck.
If your home is mobile and has more than four tires, you might be a redneck.
-
Redneckery is more of a personal election than a birthright.