I hope David can find his way home from Columbus

[Steve Wood]

$5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Tim Horton's said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Lifesaver. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the worst thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

            I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

            I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?

            I took my food and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

            I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

            Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

            "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

            I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

            That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

            Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

            Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

            Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my coffee, only it was nowhere to be found.

            I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

            All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Assistance benefits.

            Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

            I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

            All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

            As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

            The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

            Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list. Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.


            P.S. Save the earth....... It's the only planet with beer!!!!

[Pyro6]

Shake it off Steve, it was just "one of those days".

[Charlief1]

Thanks for the laugh Steve. Your mind was pre-occupied so it took you by suprise.

 If it helps I've got an 84 VW vanagon here that a lady bought so she could drive to kalifornicatio n and live in it. She's on disability and thought that a vehicle that's been sitting for 7 years in the Texas sun just needed a battery, some gas, and a new battery so she could drive it from DFW to kali. She's pissed because everytime I get something fixed something else breaks. Go figure, huh.

[Steve Wood]

It must be a Dodge version

[daveismissing]

Proof of his arrival:

Ambassador Just_A_Six sitting in the Canadian Consulate adjacent to the
JCC Mobile Command Center- Agent In Charge Ed Baker.

[$1987 GN$]

Proof of his arrival:

Ambassador Just_A_Six sitting in the Canadian Consulate adjacent to the
JCC Mobile Command Center- Agent In Charge Ed Baker.

Looks like someone released their bladder under the canopy. 


AJ___

[ULYCYC]

It's the Saint Lawrence river

[Just a Six?]

I only got 1 comment on the flag. Someone's wife came by & pointed at the flag asking WTH is this?? I said proudly that this was the Kanadian Consulate & Beer Tent! The golf cart was for anyone needing quick transportation .
Huber had it at the front gate 1/2 of Sat but it was for Very Important BPG type stuff!
 
PS: My eye hooks saved 4 tents in the storm.   

Later on I'll post about the BP gas station on the way home. What a Nightmare that was!!

[Pyro6]

What the hell Dave, couldn't you look me up when you were there? No wonder Steve thinks you can't find your way home. I guess Huber didn't tell you I was trying to catch up with you.    Met some of the other Canada bunch after a run and when I was getting gas Fri., after that everybody seemed to evaporate. I'm thinking AC was the draw for the weekend. I roasted in the lanes and zonked in the Mhome AC.

[Just a Six?]

What the hell Dave, couldn't you look me up when you were there? No wonder Steve thinks you can't find your way home. I guess Huber didn't tell you I was trying to catch up with you.    Met some of the other Canada bunch after a run and when I was getting gas Fri., after that everybody seemed to evaporate. I'm thinking AC was the draw for the weekend. I roasted in the lanes and zonked in the Mhome AC.

I did 6 runs Friday & with humidity the temp was 98* someone mentioned. My boost was stuck at 20 lbs on the BSTC & wouln't go higher. Still got an 11.45 with a 1.7 60 ft.
After that I was in the nice cool room at the Hampton. I was around all day Sat & most of Sunday hiding in the Beer Tent & keeping out from the Sun!

Too bad I missed you as I had a cooler full of refreshments! Ed, Rich, silent Tommy & Huber were around a lot of the time. Dave & Debbie, Paul & family as well as little Phillip & his girlfriend were there to get cold refreshments when needed.
I hope it's cooler next year!

[daveismissing]

ed witnessed a baffling convo w ijames getting a description of you not    kindledave

[Just a Six?]

ed witnessed a baffling convo w ijames getting a description of you not    kindledave

What??? I don't get it??
ed witnessed a baffling convo w ijames getting a description of you not    kindledave
[/quote]